How to Support a Parent with Dementia Without Burning Out

When it’s your mum or dad who has dementia, it changes things in a way you don’t expect.

You’re still their child, but now you’re the one reminding them to eat, keeping them safe, trying to hold onto bits of who they were. While some days you manage fine, mostly it’s a mix of sadness, guilt and a type of frustration that’s hard to explain.

So what do you do when the person who raised you needs more than you can easily give? How do you cope emotionally when your parent has dementia? Continue reading for some ways to make it a little easier.



Making Sense of The Emotional Side

Everyday life looks different when your parent develops dementia.

At first, it’s small things, such as forgetting a name or essential appointment, leaving the hob on or losing confidence in things they’ve done for years.

It’s really not easy at all to accept that the person you love, who once looked after you, now needs care themselves. Most people try to stay focused on the practical side of things because that’s the part that feels manageable. But then comes the emotional part, which is always harder to face as it tends to build up quietly, showing itself as constant worry, irritability, guilt or a kind of tiredness that doesn’t go away.

Talking with someone who understands dementia can help you make sense of what’s happening.

For some families, a short break or a period of respite care in a dementia care home provides space to rest and regroup. Knowing your parent is being cared for by people who understand the condition can bring real relief and help you return to the role of son or daughter rather than a full-time carer.

Let Go of the Idea of Doing It Perfectly

Caring for a parent with dementia is unpredictable because the nature of the disease means things change constantly, and what worked last week might not work today. And we don’t need to tell you how frustrating that can be.

We suggest focusing on what helps rather than what goes wrong, such as trying to keep communication as calm and straightforward as possible. So, give yourself time to pause and gather yourself before reacting when situations inevitably become stressful. If you lose patience, apologise, move on and don’t beat yourself up, because most family carers break at some point.

To make things easier for you, try sharing tasks with relatives, arranging professional carers at home or think about a move into a dementia care home.

Building Emotional and Practical Support

Try not to do everything alone. Support looks different for everyone, but it helps to have a few reliable people and services you can lean on.

Start with your own network

Be clear about the kind of help that makes a difference.

• Ask family or friends to take on specific tasks, like shopping, transport, cooking food, checking in or staying with your parent for a few hours.
• Don’t assume people know what to offer — tell them what would genuinely help.
• Rotate responsibilities so no one person, including you, takes on too much.

Connect with others who understand

Talking to people who’ve been through similar experiences can be very grounding. Look for:

• Local dementia support groups or carers’ cafes.
• Online communities run by trusted organisations, such as Dementia UK or the Alzheimer’s Society. Learn more about help with caring for someone with dementia in Essex here.
• These spaces can offer both emotional support and practical tips that make daily life easier.

Bring in professional help early

You don’t need to wait until you’re completely burnt out and exhausted to get extra support.

• Home care visits can help with personal care or medication routines.
• Short-term respite care gives you a break without stepping away completely.
• A specialist dementia care home can provide consistent care when needs become more complex, allowing you to stay involved in a healthier way.

Keeping a Connection as Things Change

As dementia progresses, your parent might not communicate or respond as they used to, which can be upsetting.

But that doesn’t mean the connection is gone for good. There are ways to keep it strong:

Finding a Sustainable Balance

Caring for a parent with dementia is demanding and deeply personal and it’s so easy to forget that you need care too.

Getting help early from family, professionals, local resources or a dementia care home can make things more manageable and protect your relationship with your parent.